4 Things To Help You Like Yourself Better When Life & Work Are Both Hard

No, to travel or to wake up early is not on this list.

7 min readNov 2, 2019

Two work-related frustrations make us loathe everything including ourselves by and large.

First, we all feel drained quickly when a disproportionately high amount of tasks are seemingly carrying us away from the mission we subscribe to initially to start working on something. For example, it’s probably a designer’s nightmare to do customer service daily due to the shoestring budget of the company. It will drive a professor nut when he/she spends too much time filling out forms to apply for funding. “This is what I sign up for!” You moaned. But you cannot simply back out.

Second, we probably all have questioned whether or not we are on the right track when we’ve pulled all the strings but there is just so little an improvement. Of course, Rome is not built in one day, but, hey, can’t someone just give me a shoulder tap now? No, unfortunately, especially when you are a leader in some sort. You must put on a smiling or affirmative look in front of your teammates so that they know they should carry on and things will get better.

Now you are alone in a few setbacks. You want to pull yourself together. Nonetheless, it’s more often than not that you are in a severe lack of either the time or the budget, sometimes both, when you want to give yourself some treat. You are so smart that you know you will avoid those fast and cheap means because you cannot afford a hangover. Therefore, the treat is only going to truly please and comfort you when it meets 4 “low input” criteria at the same time:

(1) doesn’t require you to leave your job, e.g., go to Paris tomorrow;

(2) doesn’t require any major efforts in addition to your daily routine, e.g., learn to get up at 5 am;

(3) doesn’t break your bank, e.g., get a loan for Porsche 911;

(4)doesn’t require someone else’s, e.g., talk it through.

I’m going to be as specific as possible with these 5 tried-and-true methods so you can jumpstart easily.

№1 Listen to some Podcasts while you commute.

Podcasts are not strange to us anymore today. You can listen to any episode through the native app on your iPhone, Spotify or other newer ones. The key here is to make sure you listen to a topic that’s not immediately relevant to your job. Why? Shouldn’t I take the opportunity to learn from successful experiences and make myself a better professional? Well, you totally should seize the time. But remember you want to be a curious and confident person first. You will relax when you are not surrounded by to-do lists and peer reviews. You have to remember your motivation again.

It’s our human nature to love things that are beautiful, original, and wise. It’s, by all means, interesting to listen to “How I Built This with Guy Raz” if you are an entrepreneur, but try In Our Time from BBC of which every episode invited 4 professors or thought leaders to discuss and debate on a humanity subject. You will step in the office building feeling the history is grandeur so whatever issues show up today are truly small. You already have them in control.

№2 Read an excerpt from a book every day.

A lot of content out there points out the importance of reading. They encourage us to read more by providing us with a famous industry leader’s book list. However, if reading is that easy, such encouragement will not exist in the first place. No one has to urge us to go out and eat gourmet by providing us with a celebrity’s dinner menu.

I believe most people’s problem is it’s very hard to find a good chunk of time without any interruption. Reading is luxurious exactly because it asks for a private space both physically and mentally. You need a bit of time to calm down and then start to comprehend the lines. You cannot be someone’s colleague, or mom, or son, or partner when you are reading. You are just yourself. You are on a date with your brain. Other duties in your life are intrusive and offensive.

A simple solution is to download a sample of a book from Amazon to your Kindle.

Find the book you always want to read. Again, I highly recommend making the topic that is irrelevant to your day job on top of your list. Refer to №1 for the reasons. See that button “Send a free sample” below “Buy now with 1-click”? Click it. Turn on your Kindle and start to read. You are going to feel instantly satisfied because you are back in your small world for the time being. You can breathe now. You are going to feel amazing again tomorrow at the same time because you can probably finish this sample chapter by then. You feel achieved. And it’s achieving your own intellectual goal instead of those tasks that may be imposed on you. If you feel delighted enough, you may want to resume to purchase the book. If you get tired, try another sample. Don’t feel obligated to finish the entire book. No one will judge.

№3 Get lost in a neighbourhood in your city during the weekend.

“Get lost” here simply means you don’t know where you are going and you don’t know what’s there 10 feet away. Arguably it’s overdramatic these days to become so helpless that you have to rely on someone else’s guidance to go home since the map is one finger tap away. But with an artist’s mindset, you will suddenly find getting lost in the city is so spontaneous. You will become a curious spectator. You will realize how often you encounter something, but you merely see it. Seeing will refresh your perception of the neighbourhoods, the architecture, the cat, the kids… You will be reconnected to details of the vibrant traits of people’s lives. You’ll be revitalized after a short walk.

So next time, follow the road that connects to the main street. You are about to unfold something lovely.

(By the way, fancy some reading now? Try Charles Baudelaire’s The Painter of Modern Life, the essay that gives rise to the word flâneur, the emblematic figure of who lounges around the urban space.)

№4 Make one real meal for yourself this week.

Cooking for yourself is a sign of you taking care of yourself. I know it sounds like it will take forever. But give me a moment to unpack what on earth this commitment involves for you before you decide to shut this healthy opportunity out of your life.

Take a recipe that features low calories and/or a healthy diet. Pick those that need fewer than 5 ingredients.
Go get groceries. Trader Joe’s, just to name one.
Cook according to the recipe. Typically, a dish that needs fewer than 5 ingredients takes less than 15 mins to prepare and 15 mins to cook. So expect to have a meal ready for yourself in 30 mins.
Eat proudly when indulging yourself with Netflix.

Here is an example of a recipe that’s perfectly triangulated within the parameters above. What’s better, it’s a comforting food!

Creamy Chicken & Mushrooms (325 Calories)

(Here’s the link to the full instruction, nutritious table, and a video. You can pass the paragraphs below if preferred. )

What’s needed?

4 4- to 5-ounce chicken cutlets — you can get it from any supermarket. Better go for skinless air-chilled chicken breast.
4 cups mixed mushrooms, sliced if large
½ cup dry white wine — IMHO, you can pass this.
½ cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley

How to cook?

Put olive oil in a large skillet. Put chickens in the skillet and stir and fry and do whatever till it’s good. Medium fire is safe. Take them out.
Put mushrooms into the skillet. Turn the fire to high. Again, stir and fry or just leave them there till they look good to you. Add wine if you want. Then add the heavy cream. Stir again. You’ll know when it’s ready. I mean it.
Put in the chicken. Turn the fire to medium again. Stir again. Drop salt, pepper, and the parsley. Let them stay there for about another 3–4 mins.

Fin.